Domestic Partnership Agreements

Excerpted from Gay and Lesbian Rights, 2E by Brette McWhorter Sember ©2006

If you live in a state where domestic partnerships, civil unions, or same-sex marriages do not exist or are not recognized, there are steps you can take to formalize your relationship and make certain aspects of it legal. Creating a written contract can be important if you plan to own property, share expenses, and merge your financial lives. While most people do not want to think about relationship problems when they are entering into a committed relationship, difficulties can and do arise, and having a written agreement in place makes sense.

Another important reason to create a partnership agreement is that most employers who make health benefits available to partners require proof of your relationship. If your employer needs this type of document, you may consider executing two separate documents—one that meets your employer’s requirements and is signed before a notary, and another for your own purposes, which can contain more personal details. (See Chapter 6 for more information on employer-provided domestic partnership benefits.)

Creating a written contract can also increase your level of trust and comfort. You know your partner cannot just walk out the door someday and leave you with nothing. By signing a contract, you agree to be responsible to each other for certain things and set certain parameters that will affect any possible breakup. Some couples include the signing of a contract as part of the wedding or commitment ceremony.

A sample Domestic Partnership Agreement for your employer appears below.

Domestic Partnership Agreement (Employer Version)

This agreement is made on __________________ (date) between ________________ and ________________.

1. The parties assert that both are over the age of 18 and are not related to each other by blood.
2. The parties assert that neither is married or engaged in any other domestic partnership agreement.
3. The parties assert that both are mentally capable and competent.
4. The parties assert that they are domestic partners to each other and have been since _____________________ (date).
5. The parties assert that they live together and support each other.
6. The parties assert that they intend to remain together as domestic partners.
7. The parties agree to notify the person/entity to whom this notice is being submitted if there is a change pertaining to it.

_____________________ ____________________ _________

_____________________ ____________________ _________

Notary:

What to Include
The partnership or commitment agreement can include anything you like, but you must be aware that only certain portions of it will be legally enforceable, depending on the laws of your state. The following are some examples of the types of things to consider including in your agreement.

Property ownership. There are lots of options when it comes to owning property together. In your agreement, you can state what your intentions are and how you plan to arrange ownership of other types of property. To jointly own bank accounts or investments, you generally need to open a new joint account. When opening the account you can specify that it is to be owned jointly and severally—which means either of you can remove all the money at any time. You can still maintain separate individual accounts.

For vehicles, you need to change the ownership listed on the title (contact your state motor vehicle department). For personal and household property, you can specify in your partnership contract what items are to be jointly owned (for example, you could say that all household furnishings purchased after the date of the contract will be jointly owned). You can create joint ownership in specific items of property if you wish as well. You can also list those items that will continue to be individually owned.

Debts. Your agreement can state whether you intend to own all debts jointly or to designate some that are joint. You can agree how you will share payments on these.

Expenses. You may choose to assign certain household expenses to each of you, or you may agree to equally share all of them or pay them out of a joint account. Your agreement can state that you agree to be jointly responsible for the expenses of the household, and then go on to explain how you will divide these expenses. Some partners apportion this on a 50/50 split, while others assign percentages based on earnings (one partner earns $80,000 and the other earns $20,000, so expenses are shared on an 80/20 split) or create other arrangements.

Pets. It is important to establish pet ownership so that if there is a breakup, you do not have a long emotional battle over custody of your cat, dog, or other pet. Joint ownership is an option, but it might be a good idea to specify who would take the animal in the event of a breakup. Joint ownership means joint responsibility for expenses as well.

Household responsibilities. While household responsibilities are an important aspect of any relationship, they are not legally enforceable (you cannot take your partner to court if he or she does not vacuum). Despite this, it can be helpful for many couples to spell out exactly what each will be responsible for. This can eliminate confusion and later arguments.

Cooling-off period. Some couples choose to include something in their agreement about a period of time they will take after a major fight or what appears to be a breakup. This kind of agreement means you agree to take some time to get past your initial anger and try to face the problem with calmer attitudes. This kind of agreement can also be important in that it provides a sense of security—you know your partner is not going to walk out the door and never come back if you have a big fight. Again, this is not a legally enforceable provision.

Dissolution. Although it is difficult to think about, it makes sense to form some plans for how you would handle a breakup. Agreeing to try couples’ therapy might be one provision to include. Agreeing to use mediation or arbitration to help resolve property and debt issues is another. You can also agree that you would each be entitled to one-half of the jointly owned items and each be responsible for one-half of jointly incurred debts. If you are both listed on a mortgage or lease, you might want to consider in advance who would keep the home or apartment and how the other partner would be compensated.

Legal Enforceability
A partnership agreement that contains specific provisions about ownership, debt, and financial responsibilities may be enforceable if it is written as a contract. To be a contract, there has to be complete agreement between the parties and some sort of give and take, which is called consideration. If you agree to pay your partner $500 per month as your share of the utilities and rent, then you receive the consideration of living there and benefiting from the apartment and the utilities.

Many partners create partnership agreements as a way to make it clear how they will arrange things in their lives. They include items they do not intend to be l

As Featured in the Book

Gay and Lesbian Rights, 2E

Brette McWhorter Sember, Attorney at Law

Gay and Lesbian Rights details the ever-changing and expanding legal rights of the GLBT community. This book helps you understand how you can take advantage of the latest legal advances.

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