Full Description

This manual is the only book designed for both residential and non-residential parents. Formatted and printed in a back-to-back manner, the book encourages both sides to understand the other’s point of view, and so enables both parents to make the most of time spent with the children.

How To Parent with Your Ex provides support for the difficult situation the non-residential parent is in and practical, to-the-point advice about how to reap the most benefits from the visitation time available. Conversely, it addresses the role of the residential parent and the need to understand the changing relationships the child is going through. By focusing on the child, both parents are able to solidify a special relationship with the child and maintain necessary, positive communication with the ex-spouse.

Appendices for this text include various parenting organizations, publication resources, related websites and sample visitation plans and schedules.

Table of Contents

Preface -

Introduction -

Chapter 1: Moving Forward -
-Legal Terms
-Being Flexible
-Dealing with Labels
-Adjusting to Your New Situation
-Dealing with Anger
-Be Positive
-Make Your Child Your Priority
-Ways to Move Forward as a Nonresidential Parent

Chapter 2: Understanding Your Relationship with Your Child -
-Reactions to Divorce
-Children’s Common Reactions to Divorce
-Ages and Stages
-Girls and Boys
-Getting through Hard Times
-Symptoms of Depression in Children
-Dealing with Your Child’s Anger
-Talk to Your Child
-Dealing with Your Child’s Fears
-Conflicting Loyalties
-Your Emotional Changes
-Your Child’s Emotional Changes
-Good Times and Bad Times

Chapter 3: Talking with Your Child -
-Communication Do’s
-Things to Say to Your Child
-Communication Don’ts
-Things Not to Say to Your Child
-Developing Your Listening Skills

Chapter 4: Setting Guidelines for Your Child -
-Rules for Two Homes
-Rule-Making with the Other Parent
-Rules to Discuss with the Other Parent
-Ways to Talk about Rules with Your Child
-Sample House Rules List
-Sample Sticker Chart
-Sample Contract with a Teen
-Independent Rule-Making
-When You Disagree with the Other Parent
-Things Your Child Reports
-Making Exceptions
-Remaining Flexible
-Consequences
-Coping with Rules

Chapter 5: Setting Expectations for Yourself -
-Managing Emotions
-Watch Your Words
-Talk to Your Child
-How to Talk about the Divorce or Separation
-Making Promises
-Be There
-Be On Time
-Paying Child Support
-Make the Most of the Time You Have
-Rules to Set for Yourself

Chapter 6: Dealing with the Other Parent -
-Create a New Partnership
-Develop Guidelines
-Give and Take
-Create a Written Schedule
-Bite Your Tongue
-Communication Rules
-Having Meetings
-A Mediator Can Help
-Taking the Business Transaction Approach

Chapter 7: Coping with Visitation -
-Changing How You Think
-You Are Not an Entertainer
-Staying Home
-Continuing Daily Activities
-Making Your Child Part of Your Home
-Sitters
-Finding New Things to Do
-Dealing with Belongings
-Sample List of Belongings that Travel with Your Child
-Going Out
-Ideas for Activities
-Things to Do at Home with Your Child
-Ideas for Outings with Your Child
-Vacations
-Getting Help
-When You Don’t Need Help
-Easing Transitions
-Transitioning Tips
-Dealing with Medication
-Sample Dosage Chart
-Keeping Track of Feeding and Sleeping
-Sample Sleep and Feeding Schedule Chart
-Interference With Your Scheduled Time

Chapter 8: Scheduling -
-Dealing with the Schedule
-Sample Scheduling Rules
-Incorporating Your Child’s Events
-Time for Friends
-Working Out Problems
-Saying No
-Making Changes to Your Life
-Maximizing Visitation Time
-Understanding Some Schedule Basics
-Schedules Do Not Impact Child Support
-Schedule Violations
-When Your Child Doesn’t Want to Go

Chapter 9: Dealing With Holidays and Celebrations -
-Dealing with Expectations
-Holidays when You are Together
-Holiday Traps to Avoid
-Holidays Alone
-Tips for Handling Holidays Alone
-Holidays with the Other Parent
-Celebrating Birthdays
-Presents
-Staying on Track

Chapter 10: Long-Distance Parenting -
-Adjusting to a Long-Distance Relationship
-Far, but not that Far
-Coping with Distance
-In-Person Visits
-Ways to Stay in Touch
-Long-Distance Parenting Tips

Chapter 11: Other People InvolvedWith Visitation -
-Teachers and Schools
-Doctors and Dentists
-Authorization to Obtain Medical Care
-Friends and Relatives
-Former Relatives and Friends
-Dating
-Dating Tips
-Remarriage
-When the Other Parent Dates
-If the Other Parent Remarries
-Dealing with Stepfamily Problems
-Tips for Stepfamily Parenting

Chapter 12: Dealing With Ages and Stages -
- Babies
-Toddlers
-Preschoolers
-School-Age Children
-Preteens
-The Teen Years
-When Your Child is Grown
-Brothers and Sisters

Chapter 13: Special Situations -
-Physical or Sexual Abuse
-Substance Abuse
-Mental Illness
-Signs You may Need to Get Help for Your Child
-Reservations about the Other Parent
-Moving
-Changing Your Mind
-If You Want to Wash Your Hands of the Situation
-Coping with Supervised Visitation
-Homosexuality
-Teens
-When Your Child Won’t Visit
-A Child with Special Needs
-Parental Abduction
-Illness
-Things that Supercede Visitation
-For Those in the Military
-Traveling for Work
-An Adopted Child
-Shared Parenting
-Shared Residence

Chapter 14: Conclusion -

Appendix A: Sample Parenting Plans-
Appendix B: Resources -
Appendix C: Canadian Resources -
Appendix D: Telephone Numbers for Reporting Child Abuse (State by State) -
Index -
About the Author

Excerpt

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